So we had our CD17 U/S today and it was not great news. So for those of you who don't know, we had our CD15 Ultrasound on Tuesday after we found out that our follicles were not mature on CD 12. We also found out on CD15 that we had 6 follicles (1 additional since Saturday) and the RE's office was not comfortable with us inseminating this cycle. They had us reschedule to come back today to re-check the follicles in hopes that some of the follicles would stop growing. Well after today's scan it appears that the 6 follicles that we had did not stop growing, in fact they just got larger with 5 being fully mature & 1 trailing behind. The RE's office decided to cancel our cycle and I felt so defeated, but at the same time I was super pissed because when we initially started the cycle the RE just gave me the Clomid and since we were going to try at home they told us to do OPKs and then insem at home, if we didn't get pregnant then come back in and we would do a monitored cycle. Well I pushed to be monitored & triggered and that is how we found out about the 6 follicles. Not to mention, the sonographer was not a pleasant person and I feel that regardless of what my follicles looked like she was hellbent on cancelling our cycle. I know this could be just a case of "don't shoot the messenger", but she really rubbed me the wrong way on Tuesday & today. To add insult to injury they had the nerve to send in an ARNP to tell me my cycle was cancelled and all I could think was "Where the F is my RE? And why isn't she telling me this?" I left the office so mad I could have literally ripped someone's head off, DP luckily sensed this and did not really say anything (since she would have gotten the backlash unintendedly). After we left the office I went through the 5 stages of grief pretty quickly and I came out of that grief fighting. My thought process after leaving the RE was that we were going to insem regardless this cycle and we would have still had 5 follicles so why should we not insem? The 1st call I made was to my (hopefully) Midwife to ask her opinion and then I asked DP if I could call my mom. I broke down and told my mom everything (we had not told anyone but my Queer Conceptions Board & my Vlog/Blog that were even trying again). My mom said "Go for It" if you get pregnant w/multiples then I will quit my job, move to Seattle, and move in to help (LOL). She told us that we don't want to always think what if, which is EXACTLY what will happen if we don't inseminate this cycle. And if we don't insem and I end up with a cyst (which means I have to sit out another month) I am going to be kicking myself thinking we should have at least tried. And the worst thing would be if we sat out this cycle and then from here on out we only produce 1 or 2 follicles and it takes us multiple cycles to finally get our BFP. So after a lot of mediation and advice from my mom we have decided that we are going to go ahead and do an ICI with our Naturopath and let the chips fall where they may. I know that it is very controversial to go ahead with the insem with that many follicles, but I have seen women with more than I have and still not get pregnant. So we are leaving this all in the Universe's hands. And there is a chance that we may not even ovulate in enough time because my BBT has been stuck in a dip for the past couple of days and some women don't ovulate on Clomid. We will keep watching & waiting....
Until next time... Many Blessings! And xxxxBABYDUSTxxxxx to all that need it!
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